Can’t say no? Always putting other people first? How we give, give and give but ultimately end up disappointed. A style typical with caregivers and those in the helping professions, Heaven’s Reward Fallacy is common in those that put others needs before their own. In...
I have met so many people who have needed to be right all the time, this is how they changed! We all know some people who tend to need to be right all the time and who can’t tolerate to be proven wrong. We may even have some of this going on within ourselves and...
Things we all need to know about how our shoulds and rules cause our anxiety, I wish I knew about these sooner! “Shoulds” and “aughts” are a major and almighty tributary to anxiety and practically every person on the planet has used them in some shape or form. In this...
The ways we all blame and how blaming causes massive problems and anxiety. There’s such relief in knowing who to blame. If we are suffering, then someone must be responsible. When we’re lonely, hurt, or frightened and someone must have provoked these feelings. If...
Three ways we all Global Label and why it causes so much pain. My supermarket stocks rotten food at rip-off prices. A person who refused to give me a lift home is a total jerk. A quiet guy on a date is labelled a dull clam. Our boss is a gutless imbecile. Each of...
Fallacy of Change Feeling powerless and at the mercy of other people and circumstances when it comes to happiness and fulfilment? When we live by the fallacy of change we think that if only others would change then we would be happy. Only then will we be appreciated,...
At the root of the emotional reasoning distortion is the belief that what we feel must be true. If we feel like a loser, then we must be a loser. If we feel guilty, then we must have done something wrong. If we feel ugly, then we must be ugly. If we feel angry,...
Being anxious and not sleeping well are very closely linked. Our bodies are telling us to shut down but our brains just won´t let us. When we do finally fall asleep it’s a fitful, uneasy sleep or we are woken up easily. This blog explores the connection between...
In human interactions we all have our own way of seeing events, conversations and disagreements. We automatically and naturally see things from our own points of views, just as car drivers in other cars can only see the road from where they are, not from where we are....
Control Fallacies: The idea of being helpless or responsible for our lives are very important narrative elements in all our lives, as is our sense of cause and affect. Wanting to know what causes things to happen to us and around us is a very human thing and it can...